Louise Cunningham, my mother, was perfect for so many reasons. We lost her last Wednesday. I’d like to tell you a little about her.
A Huge Personal Loss
In spite of the deep heaviness our family is experiencing, I want to pay Louise a little more tribute. In fact, looking at the photos for this post of happier times (before she was in extreme pain at the end of her life), is helpful in erasing the images in my mind of her suffering. A sort of therapy.
My Perfect Mother
Every single person who knew Louise Cunningham would describe her as sweet. You felt peaceful just being near her. Her quiet wisdom was invaluable.
She raised six children, Renée, Jim, Mary Ann, Joe, John, and Teresa, and gave each of us her unconditional love.
Mom was deeply religious. If you really needed something you would ask Mom to pray about it…she had a direct connection! When we were living in Paris, she went to mass so often at our neighborhood French church, they asked her to pass the collection plate.
This slide presentation is about 45 seconds long…
As my husband, Howard so perfectly said “She was a wonderful and loving lady; a great mother, wife, grandmother, and aunt. We will all miss her however we should know she is in a better place now, free of pain and reunited with the love of her life, Jim Cunningham. We are all so lucky to have had her in our life.”
Beautiful and how we would all live to be remembered by our family and friends. Thanks for sharing.
Dear Mary Ann,
Your thoughtful and loving tribute to your mother brought tears to my eyes in its heartfelt kindness and warmth. I remember your post recently about visiting her after her fall, and then again the more recent accident and was so glad to know you could go visit. She sounds remarkable, and you’ve given this blogging community a tremendous gift, which comes through in your shared family traits. Wishing you peace and calm in your memories and grief.
Oh, Debbie, your comment brought tears to MY eyes. Thank you so very much!
Mary Ann this is such a beautiful tribute to your Mom. I loved reading about her. She raised an amazing, kind and loving daughter in you. Thinking of you and feeling your pain in these difficult days. xx
Thanks so much, Lisa.
My deepest sympathies to you and yours, Mary Ann. It sounds like your mother was one in a million and her loss has to be especially hard. I hope you find comfort with all those that knew and loved her. And I also hope the fact that she is with the God she loved so much and those that have gone on before her is a balm to your soul.
Thank you so much, Barbara!!! So beautifully written.
Mary Ann,
I want to send you my deepest condolences for the passing of your mom. I lost mine unexpectedly almost 4 years ago and I know the pain, sadness, sorrow and loneliness you’re feeling. Remember all the good times when she was healthy and happy. We were lucky to have our moms for as long as we did, some don’t have that privilege, but I know, a little longer would have been nice.
I have no magic words or rituals to offer that will ease your pain, but I promise that it does get easier as we don’t forget, but learn to live with the loss. Wishing you strength, courage and peace in the days ahead!
Big hug across the miles,
Carole
Oh Carole, I am so sorry for you. You are so right that we are lucky that we had our moms as long as we did.
I am so sorry for your loss. May memories be a comfort to you.
Thanks, Rhonda. Your comment means a lot to me.
Dear Marry Ann,
What a beautiful tribute to your mom, she certainly was an amazing woman. She raised a wonderful family and was loved by so many who were lucky enough to know her. I know your heart is broken, but all the happy memories you have of her, and I’m sure they are countless, will eventually mend that ache. She is with the love of her life and both of them are watching over you all.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Gail
So true…back with my dad after all these years. He died the year Tommy was born. Dad was just crazy about my mom…there is a great reunion happening.
Happy almost birthday!
Mary Ann—
I cannot imagine any greater tribute to a mom than the loving way you just described her to us (your readers). What a moving and poignant blend of photos and words. And what a great comfort to your family to know exactly where your mom was headed—heaven. Thinking of you and all who were blessed to know your perfect mother.
That is right, Carol…we all know where she is now.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I hope and pray that all the wonderful memories you have of her will give you comfort and healing in the days ahead. I’m sure you will always miss her. Sending you comfort and peace.
Cindy.
Thank you for the comforting words, Cindy.
My condolences. What a beautiful tribute you’ve provided.
Thanks so much, Dawn.
Dear Maryann,
I am so sorry for your loss. It certainly is heaven’s gain! How lucky you and your family are to have had such a loving and special Mother!
She is and will be with you forever! ❤️
In the quiet moments, through meditation and prayer, she will speak to you, answer your questions or simply be there within your deepest thoughts.
Remember the poem by Henry Scot-Holland “Death is Nothing at All”. Is has helped me.
I pray that gradually your heavy heart lifts and is inspired by her perfect love.
Ellie
I’ve started praying to her from the minute she left us. Thanks, Ellie.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Peggy.
Dear Mary Ann,
I’m sorry you are hurting right now. Losing your mom is really hard and the pain stays for a long time, but eventually it is replaced with good memories. I talk to my mom and bring her up in my mind all the time, to help me get through things or just to bring a smile to my face. I’m sure you have so many wonderful moments to remember to keep your mom close in your heart.
Reading though the comments I feel like there is a collective grief among all of us who have lost our moms. We grieve with you, Mary Ann, and I send you love and peace and hugs,
XO Heidi
Heidi, Thank you so much. I have already been asking my mom’s advice silently. I DO feel the “collective hug here!”
What a beautiful tribute to your dear mother. My deepest condolences to your family.
Thank you so much, Arli!!!
Condolences to you and your family. She was a treasure!
She sure was, Lynda. Thank you!
LOVED THE VIDEO.
SORRY TO HEAR SHE WAS IN PAIN THE LAST FEW DAYS………THAT DOES NOT SEEM RIGHT!
YOU TAKE CARE………
YOU will always have her in your heart and memories.
XXX
Thanks so much, Elizabeth.
I lost my Mother last year. The heart does not know good bye
So true!
Mary Ann: It is so hard to go through the loss of such a lovely, excellent and influential person as your mother was to you. The good memories will eventually overtake the grief and give you smiles and heartfelt joy but I know it is so hard right now. God bless you and your family!
Thank you, Pat. God bless YOU.
I am so sorry for your loss-that is such a painful one. I lost my Mom 11 years ago and still think of her daily. Prayers to all of you -may God hold you closer in His arms.
Thanks so much, Christine. I can feel your pain.
I am so sorry for your loss. The video was a beautiful tribute to your beautiful Mother. May your memories of her comfort you.
Thanks, Meg. They do.
Sending my deepest sympathy. Losing your mother is so hard–that person who has known you your whole life. Your mother sounds like a marvelous person.
She was a good one!!
Dear Mary Ann,
I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute you wrote. Your mother truly left her mark on the world.
Sincerely,
Debbie Bruna
Thanks so much, Debbie.
Dear Mary Ann,
I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute, she truly left her mark on the world.
Sincerely,
Debbie Bruna
What a beautiful video and pictures. She has to have been so special to raise such a wonderful daughter. And six kids wow! Wishing you much comfort and healing for all of you. 💕
Thanks so much, Melba. I know you have gone through this too.
Hello Mary Ann, I’m sending my sincere condolences on the loss of your mum. Thank you for sharing those beautiful words and pictures of your mum’s life – it’s so very clear how much she loved, and was loved in turn. A life well lived.
Thanks so much, Patricia.
What a beautiful and loving tribute to your perfect mom. Prayers for you and your family.
Thank you, Judy!
Hi. I just lost my dearest father unexpectedly at 82years. I feel too the need try concentrate on the love and sweet memories. I cherish and hold them dear. Still wish for more time together. Wishing you a heart filled with peace and love.
Sharing in your loss.
I am wishing you peace too, Maria.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your lovely mother. What a sweet tribute this is.
Thanks, Kristen. She will never be forgotten.
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful photos of your mom and family. A long life, well lived, surrounded by those she loved and who loved her in return. What more can we ask for in the end. I pray you and your family find peace in knowing she is at rest.
Thanks, Linda…she IS at rest…well deserved. The rest of us left behind just have to deal with it. And remember all the good times.
Maryann, I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, I could not agree more with your husband, your mom is in a better place and free of the pain.
Take care of yourself Maryann, these are difficult times and you need to nurture yourself.
I am adding your mother and your family to my prayer circle.
Take care friend, sending you a big hug.
What a loving tribute to your mom Mary Ann! She sounded like such a wonderful lady and lived such a full life. You have many special memories in your heart…I loved the pink party you threw for her!
Linda
That’s because she looked good in pink, Linda.
I am so very sorry for your loss. My mother died very suddenly in her sleep in 2012 at only 72. I only add those details to say that yes, it does get “easier,” for want of a better word. The gaping hole remains, but over time I have found that choosing, as you are, to be grateful for such a gift (who really impacts us more than the one(s) who raise us?) has softened the sharp edges of the hurt. Be gentle with yourself. Think how you would be kind to a grieving friend, and be at least that kind to yourself. May her memory be a blessing.
I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost both of my parents. It never gets easy, but time and precious memories help. Lifting you and your family up in prayer.
Thank you, Teresa. I was thinking that we are orphans…with precious memories.
Beautiful LADY—LOVING tribute!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🦋
Thank you, Monica.
I grieve with you and for you. This brought up so many memories of my own lovely mother and best friend who I lost 8 years ago. Time really does help.
I hope so, Wren. It feels so heavy right now…but yours and other comments help.
Such sweet memories of your mother , she reminds me of my 4’11 mom who also
raised six children and was a prayer warrior.
Our priest use say she was in church more then he was .
How did these amazing women do it all with such Grace , our mom died 20 yrs ago I
would picture her dancing again with my dad on her tippy toes in heaven and I would
smile .
So sorry for your loss
That is so funny what your priest said 🙂 My mom was only 4’11” too..and even shorter in later years…but boy was she strong.
Dear Mary Ann,
My heart goes out to you and your family.
I can feel the love in your family from the lovely tribute you posted. Your Mom was precious to all of you, as you all were precious to her. You are very blessed to have a perfect mother for so many years. I am so glad that you told us about her faith, so you know Louise is free from pain now and
Resting in the presence of her Lord.
With sincere sympathy, Patricia
Thank you for your comforting words, Patricia.
In 2019 I lost my 93 year old mother. A dear friend who had recently lost her 98 year old mom shared this observation with me: ‘We belong to a special club. We are the women who are into our sixties and beyond who bury our mothers. We were blessed to have them be there with us and to share our children and grandchildren. We know intellectually that they would have to leave us sometime but because they were with us for so long we never dreamed they would. It’s hard when they do leave and losing them is felt so deeply. We are blessed to have the wisdom of our age that tells us not to waste time grieving but to sit in gratitude for that beautiful life and the gift of having them with us all those years.’
My prayers and condolences to you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss. She has left a wonderful legacy.
Your friend is so wise. I’m just too hurt right now to …”We are blessed to have the wisdom of our age that tells us not to waste time grieving but to sit in gratitude for that beautiful life and the gift of having them with us all those years.” But hopefully, the gratitude stage will come in time.
Mary Ann, Though you don’t know me, I feel like I know you. I’m soon to be 73 and lost my mom in 2008 and miss her daily. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing. Your personal grief along with the nod to sweet memories reminds us all the little things may really be the biggest things!
I watched your beautiful tribute to your Mom more than once !
Wishing you hours and hours of memories…..
Thank you for commenting, Maureen. “nod to sweet memories reminds us all the little things may really be the biggest things!” So true. I will focus on those.
Mary Ann, I am so glad you shared this little slide show. What an lovely mom you had. How wonderful she traveled to all those places to experience them with you too. They lived through so much in their generation. They endured a lot and were so positive. From what you wrote her she sounds like she had that kind of mindset. Thinking of you and your whole family. Much love, Kim
She was a good mom to all her kids, Kim. Just like you are.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful Mother with us! You are right, she was indeed an angel on earth. I lost my mother 11 years ago and still miss her. But in her honor, I move forward too. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Jennifer. I guess we will always miss them. God bless you.
Dear Mary Ann, I am so sorry for your loss and to your whole family. Your Mother was a beautiful sweet soul. You could almost tell her personality by the twinkle in her eyes. She reminded me so much of my own sweet Mom who I lost in 2012 so seeing your Mom in your posts always cheered me up. She lives on in you, your siblings and your children and that is a wonderful thing. Sending prayers.
Warmly,
Susan
Susan, on days like these I am so glad to have this blog and the support of all of you. Thank you so much.
What a lovely tribute to your mom. Deepest condolences to you and your family.
Thank you, Jeannine. Your comment means a lot to me.
What a beautiful tribute! May your sweet memories and family surround you with love.
Thanks so much, Sherry!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. She must have been loved my many. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
She was! Thanks so much, Susan.
Dear Mary Ann, I am so deeply sorry for your loss of your mother. I have read your blog for many years and know of your wonderful closeness with her. I am sure she knew she was deeply loved for all the family gatherings you had together and especially all the ones in her honor. I wish you peace in the days ahead. Time does heal but the miss is always there. There is nothing quite like a mothers love.
Beautiful words, Heidi. I know she KNEW she was loved. And she loved a party 🙂
Blessings to you!! Such wonderful memories.
Thank you, Denise.
Oh Mary Ann.
Your mother’s devotion to her faith and her family did make her The Perfect Mother.
Your lovely and moving tribute to your her on this Sunday is spiritual gift.
You and your family are in my prayers.
With love and care.
Lynne
Thank you, Lynne. Means a lot to me.
Mary Ann she sounds like she was a Grand Lady….and raising 6 kids! That generation of women never complained and they just did what needed to be done…I loved watching the tribute and I know you are feeling loss and sadness……Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life but to know they are free from pain can be a blessing of sorts. You are in my thoughts and as trite as it sounds….”time is the greatest healer”. xo Sherry
Thanks, Sherry. That’s so true. She never complained.
what a loving tribute to your mother. I wish I had had the skills to do the same for mine. But computers and slide presentations were in their infancy when she left us. I still talk to her. I forwarded the link to my daughter,who is a family therapist in Chicago. Remember the good times!You have had a very interesting life with her and your family-sounds like many wonderful experiences to be shared.
I am hoping my brother, Jimbo, can do a slide show as this is sort of one-sided with my view. Yes…I need to focus on the good things.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother. Your tribute was loving and thoughtful. Thank you for your links about grief. My mother died on Nov. 23 at 92. There were so many details to attend to that I think I delayed grieving. Now that we’re almost finished I find myself sad and teary more than before. Time to take care of ourselves, as people say.
Lovely tribute. Didn’t know her but felt I did when seeing her in the health care ad here in San Diego. She looked so sweet and gentle. I am sending hugs and prayers to you in this sad time. The days ahead may be hard but just treat yourself as she would.
“treat yourself as she would”… good advice, Holly. I loved watching that ad. My sister, Teresa was one of the producers.
Such a lovely tribute to your mom
Thanks, Dana.
I’m so sorry for your loss Mary Ann. What a blessing to be supported and loved unconditionally by your mother. May your memories comfort you and your family in the days ahead. Rest In Peace sweet Louise.
Thanks so much for your kindness, Treva.
Thank you for sharing your mom with us. We agree, she was a great lady. I loved your tribute to her. Louise raised some wonderful children .
“Grief is the price of love.” Be well.
“Grief is the price of love.” And it’s hard, but worth it.
Thanks for sharing such a lovely tribute to your special Mom! So very sorry for yo u and your family’s loss.
Thanks so much, Kathy.
A loving and lovely tribute to your beloved mother. I don’t believe in the afterlife as many do. I have come to see that life eternal is in the memories you leave behind. It will take a great deal of time for that hole in your hearts to mend. As we know with physical cuts, and burns and stitches, we heal from the inside out—gradually. Take care of your wonderful memories and they will take care of you. All the best.
What a beautiful tribute to your mother! It sounds like you and your family were blessed to have her. Angels are around us all of the time…I’m sure she will continue to watch over you from heaven.
She has gone from your sight but never from your heart.
Mary Ann,
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a wonderful little tribute for those of us who felt we virtually knew her from your account of the fun times when you visited and enjoyed her and your family.
Best to you.
xo,
Karen
It’s so hard to loose a parent. You feel the loss everyday, even though you know they are in a better place. I picture both my parents walking in heaven with the angles holding hands, and smile. My sympathy to you and your family for your loss.
Oh Lu Ann…I love that you shared that image of your parents. I can imagine mine doing that too.
I am truly sorry to hear of the loss of your mother Mary Ann. Please accept my condolences and may our prayers help comfort you and your family.
“A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.” -Unknown
Ah Eleonore I love that quote “A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.” -Unknown
I hope I am that kind of mom. Thank you.
Sorry for you and your family’s loss. Your tribute was very touching. I hope you find comfort in her memories. O
The memories are comforting. Thanks Maureen.
Thank-you for sharing all of this, it has been helpful
to me. I lost my 87 year old mother on January 6, due to covid, and I still feel her loss every single day. Praying for you and your family.
Ellie, I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.
Thank you for sharing the story of your sweet, beautiful mom. What a lovely tribute. I am inspired by your mother’s example of selflessness and devotion, and I will remember it. I am thinking of you and your family, Mary Ann, and wishing you peace and comfort. Please be especially kind to yourself.
Thanks for all your great professional advice, Heidi. I’d hug you if I could…ha! And then we would take a walk.
So sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to move forward after a loss like that. I miss my mom every day.
She much have been a great mom, Susan!
My heartfelt condolence, I lost my Mother 3 years ago, it’s as though it was yesterday. I know how you must feel, not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Your video is lovely, I hope that you can find some comfort in your many special memories and in the thought of the happy years you shared.
Meredith, I am hoping this pain eases a bit with time. Has yours?
What a beautiful tribute to your mother, a gorgeous lady and surely one of a kind. PEACE
Anne, she WAS a special one. Thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. I hope you find comfort in your faith as you navigate the stages of your grief. Your mother was loved so many as evidenced by your blog. Please take the time to care for yourself.
Thanks, Melinda. A good thing is that I feel closer to my siblings and to God right now.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m praying for peace for you and your family as you work through your grief
Thanks, Jayne. I appreciate that so much.
I’m sorry about your mother. She seems like a great lady.
She really was, Marilyn. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother died 10 years ago and to this day I miss her and think about her everyday. Like your mother, mine was the sweetest, most loving woman I have ever known. She was my best friend. you have my deepest sympathies and your post is a beautiful tribute to your mother.
Thanks, Linda. We are lucky to have had the love of our sweet mothers.
Thanks for the beautiful narrated photo collage of your mom and your family. I have tears in my eyes as I finished watching. Thankful that you have a big community supporting you in this time of grief.
Thanks, Linda. I feel like we all just have to take one day at a time.
I’m sorry for your loss, Mary Ann. It has been a difficult year. I’m praying for peace for you and your family as you navigate through grief.
Thanks, Lissa. At least she got to die at home. Which is what she wanted.
My heart goes out to you and your family. What a wonderful tribute to your precious mother! I am currently caring for my 94 year old mother in her last days. I am already starting to grieve the loss of who my mother was in her younger years. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Teresa, my thoughts and prayers are with you. There is a special place in heaven for you…and also my sister, Teresa who did the same thing.
Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me. I hope and pray you are continuing to do okay through your recent loss of your mother. I imagine it is not easy, but you seem to handle things with grace.❤️🙏🏻
I am so sorry I was never able to meet your mother. I know I would have loved her. I can’t even begin to share your grief, but I know that it feels kind of raw right now. Soon the happy memories will outweigh the memories of her suffering. She was such a lucky lady to have such a wonderful loving family which I am sure is a tribute to her.
Cindy, she knew about you and how close we are. That’s what I am looking forward to ” the happy memories will outweigh the memories of her suffering”. Thanks for always answering the phone.
Oh Mary Ann! I am so sorry for your loss. I remember a few times when you told me that you were going to ask your mom to pray about something we were talking about. I’ll never forget that! What a lovely way to be remembered, as someone who would pray for you! I love your title: My Perfect Mother. That is so incredibly beautiful. I love the video and your heart felt post! It’s so moving, I’m in tears. I am so sorry for your sadness Mary Ann. Wishing you and your sweet family, peace and comfort in the days ahead. Love you!
xo annie
I know Mom said some prayers for your family, Annie. If things didn’t work out the way we planned, she would say that God had something better in mind.
Love you, too!